Thursday, 13 November 2014

Life takes you on roads you never thought of

Anyone who has been following my blog will know that this year and indeed the last five have been full of massive changes. I've been through more in those five years than some people go through in a lifetime, sometimes it has felt like a plot line from a well known soap opera! But I survived. It's taught me a lot, it's made me stronger and bizarrely it's made me happier in the end. But that may have been a lot to do with removing  negative and destructive people and circumstances from my life. Sometimes you just have to acknowledge that those people are dragging you down and put a stop to it in order to move forward. Its not easy at all but worth it for the sanity (well as sane as I'll ever be) and happiness I now have.

This week the final (I hope) huge change take place. This big change has taken a lot of thought, no little courage, a lot of thinking and feeling torn. Ultimately I have to do what's best for me. After many years of putting others first and having to do things because of other peoples' demands, circumstances and control I am in a position to make choices for me. Its such an empowering place to be! Of course I wouldn't be able to take this step if it wasn't for the money I got from selling Easter Mosshat. It's all swings and roundabouts. From something that caused me a lot of heartache (selling and  moving from my home and garden) it has actually freed me to follow a different path without financial constraints. I am no longer weighed down by financial obligations and am able to have a less stressful life where I can go off and explore different ideas and experiences.

Early Morning on the web

So I am leaving my job and taking a year out!!! Yes I am leaving a reasonably well paid job, no I haven't got another job to go to. Am I going through a mid life crisis at 45? No, I am finally in a position to do the right thing for me and and have the time to do some of the things I love doing that have been absent from my life for too long. Friday was my last day, and although it was my choice to leave it was still hard to leave good friends and the nursery where I have worked for 12 years. Its been like a second home and family to me and I will miss them all. It's not goodbye, I'll see them all soon. We had a farewell dinner, champagne, leaving cards and gifts, we laughed and we cried, it really is the end of an era.

Cool shade, Bordeaux

What am I going to do with all this time I will have on my hands? Live life instead of driving to work, spending eight hours doing something that doesn't inspire me any more, driving home, spending my evening doing domestic chores and trying to keep on on top of everything, then repeating the process the next day and so on....

~ I am going to study, I am still toying with the idea of an Open University degree, but for now I have signed up to do the University Certificate in Biological Recording and Species Identification run by the Field Studies Centre and Manchester University.

~ I am also going to do some courses at Edinburgh Botanic Gardens.

~ I'm going to do some volunteering with several plant conservation groups to get some practical experience and get to know people in this field.

~ I might even pick up a part time job somewhere or help David out in his busy season. We'll shall see what opportunities present themselves. For someone who usually plays it safe and likes a set path to follow, this is a huge step and quite liberating!

~ On a more personal note I am really looking forward to getting back to doing the things I enjoy as I mentioned in a previous blog.

~ I'm so looking forward to being in the hills and walking again.

~ I am keen to read through the huge pile of books I have amassed on my desk that I never get time to read.

~ I will also have more time to do more photography and expand my knowledge and portfolio.

~ Day trips with David and/or the kids and of course Bracken the dog. David goes some really interesting places with his job so hopefully I will tag along occasionally and grab a photo opportunity or two and see some new and different places.

~ Tick more things off my bucket list

~ Cooking and baking, I am such a foody and love producing food for friends and family and it will be great to have the time to really do this again.

~ Gardening, which will mainly be maintaining my plant collection and the greenhouses here at the inbetween garden. I will be doing some more wee projects around the garden, so watch this space.

~ Catching up with friends and family, coffee and banter, and spending quality time with those that

I will not deny this is a huge step, I have either done an amazing thing or one of one of the more lunatic things I've done in my life! Time will tell. Though it is exciting to do something different and see where it takes me next.

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