Wednesday, 30 April 2014

The Roller coaster of Life

How things have changed since my last post. Its been a while as I couldn't think what to post, as the changes forced upon us are huge, sad, and for medifficult to be leaving my beloved garden.

Larix decidua

The house and gardens go up for sale at the end of next week and the era of our being at Easter Mosshat will end when the house is sold and we move out. My plans for the garden, that was to be my life project have come to an end but I leave an impressive achievement in creating a garden here in what can sometimes be challenging conditions. I have learnt an awful lot, my garden style has changed hugely, I have put together an impressive plant collection and provided an amazing place for my children to grow up. Naturally they are upset at leaving here too.

The logistics of moving a family home and a garden are a nightmare, 14 years of a family growing up here and amassing a lot of stuff is not going to be easy to shift. Fortunately I have been doing a lot of clearing out recently but we will have to do a lot more! As for the garden, well that will be a blog post or two for the future. Then of course there is finding a new home, that is exactly what we need with as big a garden as possible in the area we need to live in. That is another huge challenge!

So that's the bad news, but given what I have been through the past 5 years (think soap opera story line).2009 saw my best friend (whom I also worked with) becomes a bullying stalker who tried to get me sacked and generally destroy my life (she failed), 2010, my mother, that after a lifetime difficult relationship decides at same time I am going through stuff with ex best friend, that I am no longer an acceptable member of the family and has no more to do with me and has continued to do so for the past 4 years.2011 I discover my husband has had an affair and leaves me and kids for said woman. Through all this I held down a full time job, ran a house, looked after my 3 boys and tried to keep everything running smoothly for them. Then in 2012 my heart, soul and body ran out of coping. The depression I had been fighting off won and I ended up in counselling and on anti depressants. I feel no shame in admitting it came to that for in the end going through the counselling and taking the pills and dealing with all the above helped me put myself back together, and has made me a much happier, contented, stronger and sorted person. It has been a long challenging road but in the end its brought me to a much better, happier place and a wonderful amazing man who makes me very happy. It could have gone either way but  chose to move on, move up and away from those negative destructive people and take control of my life and make it better than ever before. I succeeded.

Which brings me to the positives of leaving my home and garden. for although in the beginning 2 or 3 weeks ago it didn't feel there would be positives there are. The house and garden here are big, huge, they take so much time and money which if fine but David and I would like to do other things in life too. So downsizing is the way to go, smaller property bigger life. Sounds good doesn't it? Smaller, cheaper easier house to look after (but with as big a garden as possible) means we will have more time and money to travel and live our lives. And because we are such a great team we will create a fabulous home for us and the kids wherever we go.

Pulsatilla vulgaris

I am started to feel quite excited about creating a new garden, possibly even a better one. Compact and impressive, and quite possible very different from the one I am leaving behind. I have started potting up a bit of as much as I can to take with me. Some shrubs and trees that I can't take with me, I have taken cutting of and others I can't. Sadly some of these I have grown from seed, like my Abies koreana which is just having its first gorgeous purple cones this year.

So although it soon won't be an Easter Mosshat blog, I will still be blogging, sharing with you my new adventure, the hunt for a new garden and the adventure of building my ultimate garden. The quirky bird gardener carries on to garden another day in another garden.

In the end of the day being happy is what matters and we are healthy, happy and full of new plans. Yes sad to leave Easter Mosshat and all we had planned here but life is an adventure and we have been given a new road, a different road so adventuring we will go ...............................

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